When a friend was trash talking herself, I interrupted her by saying, “Stop talking about my friend that way." After a chuckle, she continued to justify her warped evaluation of her behavior. Little did I know, I sparked a defining moment in how she chooses to see herself.
Why are we much more compassionate toward our friends, family members, even our pets than we are to ourselves? Why do we accept the flaws in others when we vilify ourselves for making the same mistakes? Why do we perceive ourselves as failures when others are just being human?
Acceptance and self-compassion are the keys to this labyrinth of self destruction.
Dr. Kristin Neff, Associate Professor in Human Development and Culture, at the University of Texas Austin, studies the contrasting ways people view themselves versus how they view others. Her research suggests that being in acceptance of who we are begins the journey to living a healthy life. People possessing self-compassion have shown to exhibit the following.
- Less depression
- Less anxiety
- More happiness
- More optimistic
- Better eating habits
If these are the byproducts of treating ourselves with compassion, respect, and gentleness……why not take a chance and try it? We do so much to change our outsides but we are powerless over the loud internal dialogue that tells us we aren’t good enough or we aren’t doing something right. When we treat ourselves harshly, we not only destroy our true spirit but we allow life to act upon us instead of being an active participant in it.
I choose to be kind to myself. I invite happiness, optimism, and good health into my life by approaching my thoughts and actions with a gentle hand and spirit.
Will you?